DEPRESSION ~ Starts 2018

One keeps things, even broken things, because ...   "It's fine!  I can fix it!" And so the pondering frog, with a leg and a hand detached, ended up on the dining room table.  The little metal bird with its wing undone, the spring sprung, lay beside him.  I had the fullest intention of repairing them both neatly. I came across them at 3.00 a.m. today since I still can't sleep. I  don't think I will for a while yet.  It doesn't matter. I'm not tired.  It will not last much longer. Not this particular night.   The morning birds would already be conversing. Nay. Concluding morning prayers. I would be writing about them if I were "home", but I am "home" in the Bay, again.  All I can hear is the fishpond waterfall and a few crickets. The house has its own voice. Creaks in the ceiling. Fridge rattles.  My laptop sounds like a toy house fridge.  Same noise, just softer. I took out five movies.  I only...

By popular demand!     I slept with my eyes open. It was recently brought to my attention that I will be turning 66 this December. I can't tell you how that feels.  It's the strangest thing.  I don't feel 66.  I don't know what 66 is supposed to feel like.  I stopped thinking about my age at 64.  It's as if someone hit the pause button on time.  But, in real time I am about to turn 66. I've considered myself informed, well read, conscious and as living on purpose, not by coincidence. But, I have been in a coma.  Sleeping with my eyes open. I saw, I heard, I assessed and I considered. I judged, forgave, condemned, pardoned and adjusted, moved and swayed like a branch in the breeze trying to accommodate the un-functionality of soul without realizing that my soul was something apart from my body. I have been medicated to balance my bouncing mind.  It keeps me awake all night sometimes.  And when I do sleep, I dream I am do...

Who knew?   Someone actually took the time to make this.