DEPRESSION ~ Starts 2018

I would like to say that I am back by popular demand, but I am just back.  I finally have something I am ready to write about, albeit under the new title, although I am still Sixty-six and Counting. (old title). I have been speechless.  If you go back and read the last few posts, it is obvious that I have for a long time struggled to string two words together.  Gobsmacked, mostly. Politics has become strange, CNN has changed.  Everything has changed and too fast to digest enough to consider writing.  I have buried myself in books and occupied myself with paint and brushes, finding my voice in pictures rather. To my surprise, my voice is that of a writer and my pictures are imperfect because I cannot adequately express my story.  Added to that, my mood keeps changing, which changes the picture. I have not jumped, but lunged, as if into a wave, too big to surf, feeling as though I was drowning most of the time.  I obviously was not drown...

BORN TO BE BLUE is playing on the DVD machine.  Fast forward.  There's too much pain to watch it slowly.  One of my actors - not one I'm in love with - not like John Dunbar - Kevin Costner. Ethan Hawk of Dead Poet's Society is playing, it seems, a famous trumpeter with a drug habit. I only fell for him because when he was young he resembled Bernard when he was young and I was in awe of him.  I call him the Tin Man because of another song - The Tin Man by America.   "Some times late when things are real and people share the gift of gab between themselves ..... But Oz never did give nothin' to the Tin man what the Tin man didn't  already have ..... soap suds green like bubbles ...   and cause never was the reason for the evening .... so please believe in me .... "   Bernard calls me Darth Vadar since the twin towers fell down.  He says I can't ever come back.   He got stuck in Ayn Rand and I moved on to a greater Cause and Effe...